Top 10 Zombie survival tips

When a zombie apocalypse finally shows it’s self will you know how to react, how to deal with this insane environment? Will you be that poor fat, scared, first to die bastard. Not on my imaginary watch! These are in no particular order, since I find them all equally important.  Without further blah blah blah here you go good sir!

1. Find yourself a trustworthy group of comrades. Be picky, you don’t want a little pussy like Justin Bieber on your team do you?

2. Leave your weakness behind. You do what needs to be done, no exceptions.

3. Fuck ammo, use a sword!

4. Fuck cars! Limited gas and loud as ball sacks. Get in shape and use your legs. Bikes work to.

5. Be cautious. Always remove a zombie’s head, you just never know.

6. Never stop. If you stay in one place to long you will die.

7. Dress smart. No high heels!

8. Trust no one. It doesn’t matter if he is your best friend or she is your lover. Life is precious, keep yours safe.

9. Keep yourself sane. Remember what makes you human. You wouldn’t want anyone with a couple of loose screws on your team now would you?

10. Get out of the city. More people, more zombies.

By Oliver

Top 10 Xbox 360 Games Under $20

     If you are like me, there is nothing more you hate than spending $60 on a game that turns out to be the complete opposite of what every review says.  I am a gamer on a budget, and have never really been the type to buy a game right as it has come out because I am…  and I dread to use this term….  CASUAL GAMER!  Or just a cheap bastard, but I will stand by the first term!  So if you are like me and spend more time playing Netflix on your Xbox than you do on games but want to change that, I thought I’d make a quick top ten list of the games I have had a chance to play,  If you missed them when they were $60, they won’t break the bank now.  A few quick rules: I tried to keep my list to be games that may not be as popular because the list would easily be dominated by games like the Assassin’s Creed or Call of Duty that I know were really popular when they came out as well as only one game per series on the list.   DISCLAIMER: I took pricing from http://www.gamestop.com* as the price reference and I know that you can probably find other games on *insert any one of the many websites that sell things cheap* but I used them because it seems a common reference point.

*I am not sponsored by Gamestop nor am I employed by them, they just made a simple place to find information.  I also do not own the rights to any of these games or images and all of that fancy law stuff that I usually see when someone writes anything nowadays so they won’t get sued.

Number 10: Ghostbusters


     I don’t know many people who have played this game myself, but I thought it was a nice throwback to the Ghostbusters series.  I loved the movies, both when I was a kid and even now.  When I got my hands on this game, I had fairly low expectations, games based on or tied in with movies are not usually known to be very well done.  This actually was not a very long game, but it was worth it to me for the laughs and the getting that feeling I had when I would pretend to be a Ghostbuster one more time…  because I am starting to get this feeling that the Ghostbusters 3 will not ever happen.

 

Number 9: Viva Pinata

     Ok, so I know that this game does not seem like a game that a 27 year old male should be playing, and I will admit that the first time I put this game in my Xbox to let my girlfriend at the time play, it surprised me.  Maybe it’s just my obsessive compulsive nature to want to unlock everything that I can, or maybe it was the awestruck feeling I had when I of whacked one of the bad pinatas with a shovel… only to see my pinatas eat the candy that came from the other pinata like some kind of cannibal buffet.  But they are bright and colorful so its not violent at all!  Right?

 

Number 8: Dark Messiah of Might and Magic

      This game was deceptively fun.  At first glance, I thought that it was just some run of the mill hack and slash dungeon crawler.  A generic looking game that once I started playing it, it completely changed my mind.  It is a fun game that makes a link between the first person perspective and a game with more linear feel than the sandbox adventure games like Two Worlds or Skyrim, but has a unique feel that is enjoyable.  The game also had a multiplayer mode with different classes that have different abilities.  It made for a very interesting Deathmatch dynamic, but it suffers from the downside of a lot of these older games which is that they don’t have the player base to keep it running.  Despite that, the single player is entertaining enough to keep me playing through, which can’t be said about some other games. *cough cough Halo Reach cough cough*  (Fan boys are going to rage at me now!)

 

Number 7: Skate


     Ok so this is where I know that my opinions differ from a lot of people.  I could not find a copy of this game anywhere around me when it first came out.  When I did finally get my grubby paws on this game, I had long grown out of my “skater phase” as a teenager and was really out of touch with any skateboarding games out at the time.  The thing that caught my eye was the complete open world feel of the game and the unique controls.  But frankly, if you are not a fan of skateboarding, pass on this.  It was a fun perspective to take with the way you did the tricks.  Rather than just button mashing like most of the previous skateboarding games would allow.  You used the sticks to mimic your foot movement and the triggers were your grab buttons.  This made for an awesome game that I spent many hours coming back to.  There was also a snowboarding game with a similar control scheme that I have to give an honorable mention.  If you played skate and want a snowier alternative, give Stoked a chance too.

Number 6: Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Vegas 2


     First person shooters are HUGE, but what about tactical shooters?  I don’t see many games get mentioned from that category when people talk to me about shooters.  I hear a lot about the Halo, Call of Duty, and Gears of War.  I tend to get bored of the big titles as it starts to feel like it is the same thing over and over.  You memorize a map after playing it so many times, and you rely on muscle memory and reflexes much more than strategy.  This is a game that feels like you are punished for run and gun tactics.  When I picked up this game, I was looking for something I could play with a friend.  We saw it was a shooter that we could both play co-op mode together and that is always more fun to me to have a friend in person to play with rather than a random person on the internet.  The game shocked both of us with how fun it turned out to be.  You can customize your character, swap to different weapons that you unlock from killing enemies in certain ways.  Each way you kill someone gives you experience in one of the three types of specialties you can get into.  For example if you kill more people with blind fire and shock and awe tactics, you unlock more weapons with that intent.  Great game, but I also wanted to give an honorable mention to Army of Two, which fit this list, but I felt was not really fun playing single player as much as it was with a friend.  Vegas 2 definitely can be played solo, but the difficulty goes up immensely.  Nothing like a good challenge, right?

 

Number 5: Dead Rising


     This was one that I had a little bit of a debate on if I should include it.  I feel like everyone knows about this game, that it was one of the most memorable games in the early Xbox 360 library.  But after thinking about how much fun I had with this game and that I’ve noticed more and more blank stares when I mention this title, I had to include it.  If you have played this game, pick it up again and give it a shot.  I have done it a few times myself and its still fun.  This game was fun because it let you feel like you were in Dawn of the Dead.  I actually really like the idea of finding random objects to pummel down zombies and the mall always felt like the best place to do that.  If you share those interests, this one is worth the definitely cash.

 

Number 4: Lost Odyssey


     I really got into this game.  Plain and simple.  I feel like it very rare to come across a good turned based RPG on the Xbox.  That was the crown held by Sony ever since the first Playstation, and when I had heard that this game was on par with one of the lesser talked about Final Fantasy games, I decided to give it a shot.  Again, very happy with the money I spent for the game.  The story does take a little bit to pick up, but stick with it and I’m sure you will really like it.  I don’t have a lot more to say because I don’t really want to give anything away, but the combat system is simple, yet satisfying, and it does have some fun mechanics.  It’s no Final Fantasy 6 but it does the job!

 

Number 3: Dragon Age: Origins


     Dragon Age has a solid story, active combat that still has a touch of turn based feel, and a good class system that requires you to complete certain parts of the story to access the next level of customization in your character, which is heaven for a guy like me.  I am a sucker for the fantasy RPGs for the most part, but I have yet to introduce someone to this game who doesn’t love it.  I have played through it with every character type and unlocked every class specialization in the game because it is that good.  I have so much time put in this game that it had to make the list.  The only downside is that I can’t play with friends.  Is it just me or do more games need to add a small one other person co-op option?  Either way, its definitely worth the grab and has a lot of DLC available should you want to explore more stories within the universe.

 

Number 2: Borderlands Game of the Year


     With the popularity of Borderlands 2, I would have hoped that more people went back and played the first game and experienced the glory that started it all.  That does not seem to be the case.  I included the price of the game of the year edition because it includes all of the expansion content, but trust me, its worth it.  I do have to say that it does lose a little replay value if you are playing solo, as it can get tiring to run through the same quests 4 different times, but I won’t bore you with that co-op praise any more.  I can only describe the game as the offspring of Halo and Diablo.  Taking the mechanics of an RPG by giving you talent trees, levels, and upgrading equipment all while using the feel of a shooter.  There is a lot of comedy and hidden little Easter eggs that may be a little dated, but overall a great game and one of my favorites for the 360.  I have to give an honorable mention to Dead Island because it kind of has the feel of Borderlands but in a far more “likely” scenario.  Being about zombies and I know how much everyone loves the idea of killing zombies.  It’s a good game but a lot of bugs made me choose Borderlands instead.

And now lastly….

Number 1: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Game of the Year


     I’m going to get the Skyrim mention out of the way right off the bat.  If you have played Skyrim and enjoyed it, try Oblivion.  There are a few game mechanics that have changed, but it was what prepared me for my mind to be blown by Skyrim.  I have been playing Elder Scrolls games since the Daggerfall and I love the open world environment games.  Bethesda just seems to know how to do it best, and if you have played anything in the series, Oblivion does not disappoint…  at all.  The idea of an open world where you decide what you want to do and the order you do it is amazing to me.This said, another honorable mention has to go to Fallout 3, which I did not want to add because I felt these two games were kind of in the same boat but just had different themes.  I mentioned the game of the year edition but it’s not the one I purchased.  I have to admit I have not played the expansions Nights of the Nine or the Shivering Isles as my Xbox has always had one of the smallest hard drives out there so I cant have a lot of the DLCs, but they are additions to an already amazing game so I would be fine backing them blindly.

     There you have it, my top 10 Xbox 360 games for under $20.  Agree or disagree, I’d like to hear from either side.  If you have a suggestion that you did not see on here, let me know.  I would love to find more gems among the pile of dung that we have to sift through when we see the bargain bin at the local game store.

Top ten devices from the FUTURE!

I have always been interested in what the world of tomorrow and am usually on the lookout for cool new tech/concepts that exist today, are currently being researched/developed or will be at some point in the future.

 
Number 10. “Self-healing” asphalt

Increase road life, cost less in the long run and quieter all.

 

Number 9. The Intelligent flower pot.

This device is designed for the casual gardener of the future. With its interactive touch screen display it can inform you when the plant needs food or water and even link up with other similar devices.

 

Number 8. Interactive digital wallpaper and floors.

A company called Think Big Factory is working on creating their unique version of the future home including a new operating system called “Domestic Operating System”. This will allow the homeowner to customize their home in any way, surf the net, watch TV, play games and much more… All on your walls or floor.

 

Number 7. The Cycle of the future.

This is the Furious Sports Bicycle by Nenad Kostadinov . The thin aero dynamic frame aside, this piece of the future contains an onboard computer that calculates and displays the riders information such s as speed, rout information, map, location, calorie consumption, ect all on the display between the handle bars.

 

Number 6. The future shower.

An electronic shower called Aqua Sense makes use of multiple technologies in order for you to experience the most amazing shower you have ever had. It was designed with everything from conservation, comfort , to therapy in mind. It has an interactive touch screen display and can even sink the shower up to music you currently have playing.

 

Number 5. Wearable gesture control.

Thalmic Labs has created device worn as an armband on your fore arm that senses electrical activity in the muscles allowing the user to interact with technology.

 

Number 4. Project Glass from Google.

This is a replacement for your handheld devices such as your phones/tablets and will heavily make use of augmented reality.

 

Number 3. The future of Glass technology.

This is one of the most amazing concepts I have seen in a while and with a lot of development going on behind the scenes should be out in the very near future.

 

Number 2. 3D Printing.

It has never been so easy to create that custom piece of furniture, mechanical device or piece of 3d art that you have wanted. This technology is becoming common place fast especially with the aid of sites like http://www.shapeways.com/

 

Number 1. The Solar tree.

The uTree is an amazing idea and perfect for energy generation in an urban environment. They are easy to install and take up minimal space. The leaves rotate so they are always facing the sun and generate up to 2.5 – 3w of energy per leaf. In simple terms, each tree can generate enough energy to power 20 – 25 street lights every night.

 

Bonus.

Implants:

Implants to either augment or recover one of our 5 senses are starting to show up today. They are as varied as a computer back pack that helps a blind person see, to electronic keys implanted in ones hand.

 

The flying Car:

Ok so maybe we have been waiting on this one for years. While something many of us desire, with rising fuel costs and the amount of power required to keep it in the air this is unlikely to be out as a consumer product within our life time. Note: I had to include this little device was created in the 1970-80 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJARrc40imk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Top 10 Random Awesome Food Items

                                Top 10 Random Awesome Food Items

10. Kiwifruit are just ridiculous, from the outside they sort of look like smaller fuzzier potato’s. Once you open them up however you get a Martian.
9. Who cut the cheese? It was you wasn’t it, dude get out of here you smell. Cheese is amazing, some even have holes built in for you to put your dick in.
8. Blueberries are bite sized smurfs! You get to relive your childhood with every mouthful.
7. Try throwing a pineapple at your friends head, it’s hilarious. Just make sure you are far away by the time he wakes up or you will be in some serious shit.
6. Ladies do I really need to say anything more then cucumbers?
5. Oranges are oranges therefor your arguement is invalid.
4. Apples are great, just be careful about worms/
3. Strawberries where santa hats, therefor they are awesome!
2. Bacon! If you dont like bacon, take your pants off and just walk away. You are not wanted here!
1. You guessed it! POTATOES!!! Jizz. Admit it, you just jizzed your pants as well didn’t you. Ladies please contain your orgasms.

By Oliver

League of Legends Top 10 ridiculous champions

10. Twitch is one of those champions that just pops out of nowhere with a giant grin on his face screaming YOUR GONNA DIE! Cant gank him early hmm I wonder why. Incredible scaling, massive AOE damage. When twitch just shows up randomly its one of those moments where you just have to grab a bannana and put it some place safe.

9. Nidalee is one of champions that is just a pain to play against, be it AP or AD or whatever messed up build they decide to try out. Everything works on her its pure potato. If you dont like 1000 damage spears flying at you like french bread, try bruiser Nid. Not only does she deal massive potato but she never dies.

8. Nunu fuuuu can you please let me run away! Even after the nerfs to his infinite slow and movement speed he is still ridiculous. Im gonna QQ a bit but I just think it is beyond stupid how a champion like this could exist. Lane bully okay cool im fine with that not a problem, but when he can scale any early AD into late game I start to cry a bit. What ever happened to picking late game AD’s. Now its all about the early game AD’s relying on that one freaking pick. Excuse me nevermind you can also use Nidalee for that as well, that girl really needs to stay in one lane damn.

7. Ryse I dont really have an issue with, I just think he is very sexy. Once he gets some mana and CDR god damn its just flying potato’s everywhere. He never stops throwing them its ridiculous. Tanky as pants for a mage anyways, high consistant damage, it is just jizz. I cum gravy everytime I see a ryze on my team.

6. Rumble is one of those champions that should not exist in this game. Whatever I have to say about this guy is complete BS since I very rarely play him but im gonna go on anyways. Cry me a salad PLEASE! The damage’s are just insane, he never jizzing dies its stupid. Aoe damage and CC all in one move not overpowered whatsoever, nope I think its pretty weak TBH.

5. Hecarim is one of those pants that when he gets a kill you know he will start snowballing ridiculously fast. He is the strongest snowball champ right now, closely followed by NOBODY! His ulti is amazing, long range dash with AOE fear and damage. I wouldnt go as far as saying he is overpowered, but close.

4. Draven is best referred to as ridiculous jizz. The only AD who can handle him in lane is Caitlyn and I really dont wanna go there. For the amount of stupid early game he still scales incredibly into late  which I personally think is pure bannanas.

3. Elise is one of those nasty counters to pretty much any bruiser up Top. Riot probably told themselves that two percentage based spells was too little so to make up for it one of them wouldnt cost any MANA! What I truly despise about Elise is the fact that no matter how well you position as an AD you can not escape her infinite range jump. She comes out of no where and wraps you up in spaghetti and then starts to chew your potato.

2. Blitzcrank blind pulls. It should not be possible for one lucky pull to win an entire game no matter how far behind you are. Blitz is incredibly fun and just all around jizz sauce but should he really exist in this game. Do I really need to go any further then this? Good.

Drumroll please. Jizz jizz jizzity jizz, cum cum wont you please cum.

1. Vi wins the number one spot for please nerf irelia more! Get this she has an escape that can also be used as an AOE knockback. Her ultimate is even more ridiculous then well everything in this game combined. Not only is it a lock on spell that knocks up her target, but it also knocks up everyone in between her and said target. Oops I forgot to mention that it also makes her completely invincible during its duration. Combine her CC with massive burst damage, passive shields, percent damage and high mobility. Once you have all that you get wait for it . . .

By Oliver